Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Turning corners

But today it seems doable. Fog clearing a little. A little.

Last night was a public meeting whereI actually got to do some facilitation. I can't even describe what a rush it is to lead community discussion. It feels like gathering power, focusing it in a prism, and unleashing it to tie people together in the cords of their own shared interest. Picture the scene from Little Mermaid where Ursula the Sea Witch stirs the water to create this huge maelstrom (my word of the week) that sucks in power and creates one swirl out of disparate elements.

Yeah, like that. Only instead of doing it for my own self-interest, it's in the interest of community. Community vision and action.

I just keep hoping to clear things away, clear time for thesis. But it's not happening, so I have to change the mindset and just do a little bit at a time. It takes so much mental energy to actually work on it that it hardly seems worth it for just a half-hour. That's the issue at the moment.

If I can get all the papers graded by tomorrow (hardly doable, by the way), then I can really spend the entire weekend on thesis. Maybe even finish with the maps by Monday and do a write up in time to share it with my committee.

I have a hard deadline of Nov. 8 to have things as pulled together as I can, and well, it's not looking good.

When will this END? Sooner if I work on it, I realize. Oh the paradox! Someone please send me some strength! I'm drowning over here!

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