Last night was a rich night for dreaming. Did anyone else feel it?
I fell asleep looking at the moon; maybe that set the mood.
First there was some community event -- vast fair grounds -- and a nervousness that I might not meet up with whoever I was there to see. It was a feeling of teen-ness, that unsureness of where you're supposed to be and a hyper-awareness of how you must look. I had hooked up with a bad boy/spray-paint artist type, and I was excited to see him, but when a friend finally showed up, I snuck off with her instead and felt relieved.
A turn. We're in tents now. Lots of bodies lined up. It's night. I'm feeling discomfort, so I pickup a toothpaste tube looking thing and squeeze whatever it is in my mouth. It's like power gel with chunks of stringy ginger. I chew gingerly and try quickly to swallow. I'm telling someone about it, laughing, but as I look at the tube, I see you can "dial" the medicine you want. I'd taken whatever was dialed last. I look closer. Fertility enhancer. Whoa boy! I laugh, but as I scan the list, I see there's also some natural version of RU-186. My stomach flips pancakes. I sink to my knees and begin to cry, rocking back and forth. No one understands, and I cannot explain. I get hugs. Women continue their lives around me. I'm still on the floor in the utility room off the kitchen of some shared girls house.
I wake up late for work, glad to worry about something real.