Went to Santa Fe with the m-pyre trio and talked and ate and drank and talked some more.
Here is what I wrote on the subject:
Today with the girls, and I know that no matter what -- NO MATTER WHAT -- I will become who I want to be, and all will be well. Maybe not all as I'd want or all as I'd dream or expect or reason for myself -- but well. As it should be. With friends around me who love me just for who I am and what I believe. It's downright affirming.
And boys -- while important and a frequent topic -- shrink to their rightful proportions. Important but peripheral. Central, even, maybe -- but additive. This is what you must remember when falling in love. That life takes two feet, on the ground at all times.
Today I picture brown babies and imagine turning 30 as a release from all the fears that my dreams won't come true. Time to make the hard decisions and live happy anyway.
Today, here with my heart friends who just now are learning they belong here, I enjoy this place -- my life -- my self. I feel downright centered. It is light.