Today, I am unsettled. Itchy. Twitchy. Looking for things I can organize. Order I can create with a little effort. Asserting a little petty control on my immediate physical environment, as my old roommate used to say, nodding knowingly, as he came home to a whole new living room arrangement.
On my way to church today (dragging myself away from shelves un-organized and cords still tangled and not tacked down), I found myself doing the math of how many years it's been since college. Since high school. As though nailing down the math will anchor me in this place now.
Even those who avoid political discussions are asking me and each other - what does this mean? what will he do? how far will he go?
As far and as fast as we let him.
And the voice of my wise friend Jimmy echoes a reminder: Don't let Trump be your spiritual center. He will expand to fill any space given over to him. He loves to be the center. A Moloch to whom we sacrifice our transgender and immigrant children.
But what do we do instead?
If we cannot demonize, because doing so is feeding the beast, then we must strengthen our muscles to love, to be of service, to smother hate with love, to bridge difference with compassion. The opposite of monomaniacal devouring is liberal multiculturalism - the affirmation of many truths, many values, many with worth of many kinds.
And even as I write this, I think about how weak "And" can be. How small a dyke for such impossibly large waves of animosity headed our way. Aren't Democrats weak precisely when they try to be the most nuanced, which looks a lot like disorganization and disagreement to those who are used to the black and white certainty of a would-be dictator?
But I want to fight for the world I want to live in, and I want a world of many ands. Many sources of truth and meaning and values. And so I seek for the common ground with people who are acting and motivated by the wrong things right now. But still people who love. People who nurture their families. Who believe in working hard.
And yes, I remember that ultimately, fighting for that world can mean taking up arms. And the winner gets to teach the lesson.
And I fear. And gather my loved ones close. And organize another shelf.
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