On the eve of Yom Kippur, I'm thinking about the ways that I've "missed the mark" when I've aimed at connection, respect, and love for those around me.
- For the anger and betrayal I caused my mother when I took her car
- For my impatience and dismissal of community members who operate out of fear, greed, and exclusion
- For not following through when I've made a commitment
- For not loving first before judgment and rejection when someone fails me
I'm left thinking about the difference between forgiveness and restoration, forgiveness and rejection, forgiveness and reconnection.
How can I ask for my mother's forgiveness when I have no intention of returning her car?
How can I ask for forgiveness from community members who have no intention of operating out of love, abundance, and connection?
How does forgiveness work now when those commitments are so far in the past and no way to follow through now?
The commitment to love feels ever-present, and maybe that commitment is enough for me. And for those who don't know (or care) that I've judged them, what responsibility do I have to call it to their attention? Is praying enough?
And so I atone alone, which is not recommended and feels like cheating, or at least hiding.
No comments:
Post a Comment